Hello this isn't housewives of the AV!

Got up this morning and drove to the dentist did I tell you how I hate the dentist? So on the way to the dentist I realized that even though mom took the babies she left me with Mr. Grouchy! So attitude all the way there and then it was time to get sick! Got into the dentist and THANK YOU GOD! I didn't have to get a root canal! I am not sure how that would have worked out with me having the kids. While sitting in the chair waiting for the dentist that is when mo started in with being his crazy self asking all these questions and then bumping the chair. I got the shot and started to cry and that is when I realized that I have never been able to do this with out medicine and that was not happening with the kids with me so I have to suck it up and after making them sit down and doing a lot of hang signals we finally got down and my mouth hurts and I really hate how my kids talk and disobey me.

Went to the store before going home and I was only going to spend 100 dollars and 400 dollars later I realized that I really need to find where we are getting the money for this! I mean the dentist and now food man oh man maybe I need to go back to work! Got home and school was a joke and then I realized that I just wanted to sit on the couch and sleep and I had school work to do! Days like this suck! Got the kids to practice and then my day continued to get worse!

I just want to know what am I supposed to do when people are so comfortable with me and they talk to me. I know I have a face that makes you just want to tell me all your deepest darkest secrets! So I don't tell what you say to me but why do you blow what I said to you so out of proportion that it isn't even close to what i said! What the heck are you kidding me! I have a blog and I have no secrets with my life so you think that making this a big deal is going to make you look good? Hello this isn't housewives of the AV! I am not doing anything I wouldn't want you to do for me and my children! Also I really do not need you to like me I like me just fine all by myself!

Tooth ache!

Woke up this morning and all I can say is I am so sorry to all my family and friends that I have made fun of before. My tooth hurts so bad and I can not believe it I do not think i have felt this pain before and it hurts. It hurts all the way from my tooth to my jaw to my ear and I wish I did not have the kids home so I could find a dentist to fix it today. But after calling a couple of dentists and no luck I will be going tomorrow. Seeing how I do not have tags on my car I will be taking a risk going but it will be so worth it.

I did not take the kids to music practice today no tags and I feel so bad. The only good thing that happened to day was I got the house picked up and the kids got done with little fuss from mo. Mod even got some of tomorrows work done so she can take it easy tomorrow. I love this about her. I think that if she had her way she would rush though this year. I do not think she realizes that she has to go to school for 10+ years. If i have my way she will complete college!

Mom called today and came buy and took the little ones home with her this is going to make tomorrow so much easier. So I will only be taking the older fist fighters to the dentist. I just hope mo can keep his hands to him self. I am thankful that mom came and got the mess makers I will help me out tonight also seeing how I am totally broken. I told the man today that I feel like I have had a stroke. I mean my entire right side is totally messed up. I have a tooth ache and my shoulder is still a mess which makes this blogging thing a total joke it hurts. I just hope that after tomorrow everything starts to get better. Well at least my tooth will feel better I hope.

The man got called back to work this evening I took the kids to practice this evening and I really will not tell the man this but I do love talking to all the moms and I love watching the girls cheer. They are going to cheer at the local High school Half time and It will be nice to go to a high school football game I do not think I have been since JR was playing for Foothill High School in Bakersfield and that was a long time ago. I love football games I love the lights and the band and the smell of the field and the cold and the hot chocolate and the cheering (yelling) and man was that a run on sentence. All I can say is I love Football games. (Oh I did go to a couple of games in Valencia when SG was coaching but that is not the same as when you are there to cheer on your family or friends. I can not wait until Friday.

So I am off to bed and I am glad that I am getting all of these blogs posted. Sorry I took so long!

No Tags! You got to be kidding me Right!

Well today has been a day a day of not feeling like a great person a day where I had a talk with the man in the bathroom and a day where I feel like screaming WHAT ELSE DO YOU GOT FOR ME!!! I completely failed at being a teacher and yelled at the kids. I fought with them it seems like all day then the man came home and explained to me that they have no record of me paying my tags but they cashed my check so I had to call the bank and order a copy of the check and now we wait until we get tags. I can not believe all of this is happening. I just feel like the past couple of weeks have been a mess. So I guess we will have to just sit and wait for our check so I can get my tags. While we wait I guess we will just have to not drive as much as we normally would.

With all that said I tried to talk to the man about how we are totally messing up our kids and I do not think we see eye to eye right now!

Im sorry I haven't been posting

I am so sorry that I haven't been posting all of these blogs and after the day that I have had maybe its because I haven't been posting. So I will be working on that this week and getting all posted. I stressed the man out today because they froze our internet account and slowed our speeds I called and it is going to cost us 40 (a total of $80) more dollars a month for internet and I expressed to the lady on the phone that that would pay for a months worth of milk! I got off the phone and the man came home and I let him know how my day was going ant I should have kept my mouth shut! He flipped out!

Didn't go to practice tonight the man let me stay home and I guess they gave the man crap about me not being there so I guess I will go tomorrow. I loved being home my shoulder hurts so bad today and it was nice to just sit and relax. I hope that things start to look up soon. I need to get out of this funk that I am in.

Mod finally lost her tooth today. She and mlh were jumping around and then I guess mlh did something and bumped mod and her tooth fell out she flipped out and started to cry and I just started laughing it was way to funny. That tooth has been loose for at least a month. So we had a letter to Loyd and then he left her a note. I believe that she asked him to wake her up. I guess according to mod mlh got woke up instead of her. Mlh was woken up by something and stood at the head of the bed and screamed get away from me until I came in to get him. I guess Loyd left her a note that said "Sorry I tried to wake you up but I woke your brother up instead and had to leave when I saw your mother." So mod didn't see the tooth fairy again and mlh got scared by something.

I love her innocence she reminds me!

I feel like I will never get to church!

I feel like I will never get to church! Today has been a day of disappointment! That is all I can say! At least the Steelers won!

Had to do school today to catch the kids up and I feel like a complete failure!

Even at home we get spanked!

Even at home we get spanked! I feel like mo is getting constantly worse with every game! I feel like we did this so he could get friends and that didn't happen and at this rate he will never have a friend! I also really hate how the kids are so wild at the games. Because mod performed at the half time for both games we had to be there for 5 hours in the heat and man was it hot. We had a couple of girls get sick and then we had crying and when they all cheered it was nice. Mod cheered with the older girls and it really makes her feel like she belongs. Then she cheered for our team and we lost one and then mod felt like puking and then started crying and I really feel for them. The little ones ran around and cried and I think they hate football days!

So all and all a crappy day! (the performance was good the girls looked great!)but other than that not so good! When we got home the man wet own the kids I got in the shower and we did very little. The man worked outside on the truck and I just did nothing of importance. Maybe tomorrow will be better! Trying for church!

Today was a horrible school day!

Well today was a horrible school day with mod crying for three hours about taking her state test and not knowing all the answers. She wants to get 100% all the time and she hates to fail! Then it was mo's turn and he is so smart! That is all I have to say! Then I cleaned the house a little bit and made a football run through and now I am to tired to blog about my horrible day! Football and cheer tomorrow!

Oh! We found the missing turtle that I forgot to blog about in the hall closet getting ready to hibernate in this cold weather. Mod filled the tank for her brother and filled it too high and I think it was sending a message to my messy kid! Mo will say he found it but we know how that happened! Mod and I found him! He was scratching on the wall! Well that's our day!

This blog is NOT about you!

I am not sure if being me is a good thing I am not sure where I am in my life all I know is this... Don't read my blog if its going to hurt your feelings! Don't read my blog if you are going to lie about it (it makes you look stupid seeing how anyone can read it)! Don't read my blog if you think I am trying to hurt you! this blog is NOT about you...its about me! This blog is how I see things in my life! This is how my day has gone and I feel like screaming from the roof tops!

I Now know why he goes by his self!

Today has been an awful day and then a wonderful night and all I can say is I know know why the man goes by his self. After a bad day it was so nice to go to practice and talk to adults and an listen to them and just have a quiet moment. This is something I have not been able to do since mlh was born. As I sit here tonight and type this and even if I never post this I really do miss my past life. Going to practice and having 2 hours alone made me really miss it.

I loved talking and laughing and listening and watching and I really really need direction. It was so wonderful and at the same time sad! I miss my church even with all that happened! I miss worship, I miss doing nails and I miss just me! I feel like I have given up and I am no longer me just a shell of who I used to be! I feel like a lost dog waiting and looking for an owner. Well that was my day! I guess I need to pray!

I am not sure if I am going to continue to post all of these blogs ...

So today we all went to practice and going with all the kids is totally stupid! I got to talk to the adults and I got a phone list and a cheer list. So I think it was a great thing that we all went. Unfortunately while talking to the adults I was not paying attention to the kids and that made the man crazy mad! So I do not know how long this is going to work with me going to practice but it was nice! I really liked getting to know some of the other moms and it made me feel like we were on the right track. I just hope that we can keep up with the fun.

I am not sure if I am going to continue to post all of these blogs I am just torn with where I am and I hope I get some directions soon. I also am not sure if is what happened this weekend that has made me a little sour or what but I am just not sure what to do!

As for school it is going I have good days bad days and just indescribable days. Days where I get a high from it and days where I just want to cry and know with this cheer stuff and the fact that mo is totally making the man crazy with his lack of interest as far as football and school everything just seems like a whirlwind! I just hope I get some direction!

Burned head and mascara in the eyes!

Well today has been a day full of memories and lessons. A day that made me look into my past. Today I had to get the kids all ready for team pictures. As funny as it was sad it made me wonder if all those curling iron burns and soap in the eyes really were on accident (well maybe not the soap but defiantly the burns I mean I probably moved or maybe my sisters got side tracked or maybe it was the hot curling iron?)

Well let me get to the story. While getting mod ready for the pictures (which included curling ringlets and a little mascara) she moved to get some water and I got her head and you would have thought that I did it on purpose. I just want everyone to know that I am not the mean sister... I am not the mean sister that laughed and said well stop moving. Well I did I started laughing and I said its your fault you moved. That is when all the memories started pouring in and I even caught my self laughing. This laughter only pissed mod off and that is when she wanted nothing to do with me. I mean she game me the I hate your guts looks and the flash backs continued to pour in.

I totally remember my sisters burning me with a curling iron and I remember giving them the same look I even remember saying the same thing and that is when I thought what if they didn't do it on purpose? I am the little sister who never felt like I fit in and know I am the mean sister (I know that I am the mom but that is what I feel like)

So to my sisters that burned my head and put soap in my eyes and also got my eyes with mascara.... I am so sorry I that I believed that you were out to get me! I really could have used you tonight for the support and also for the laugh. I want you to know that although we are not in each others lives I have so many memories of our summers together. Good, Bad and the UGLY! Having girls is so different and I can not believe that I am a mom to two girls that hopefully will end up with a couple of burns, pokes and soap in the eyes, and maybe even some ghost stories. I can not believe how much I miss you!

Go Steelers!...I should have gone to church!

So went to moms for breakfast and all I can say is I really wish I would have gone to church! Hanging out with hung over people not fun! So watched the game and then came home just in time for me to leave the mo and mlh with the man and head out the door with the girls! We went to walmart and ran into one of the other cheer moms from a different team and it was refreshing to know that I am not alone with my frustrations! When I left I felt like I wasn't alone! they took mod home with them and she got to practice with the captain of all the cheer teams and I am so thankful that they did this I think it renewed mod's heart and got her excited to go to practice this week! (she wanted to quit as of yesterday)

I know that this is a crazy thing but you would think that smaller towns have it better but they don't! I am not sure how I am going to fit in here.

That is my complete day in a small couple of sentences. Lesson learned for the day...I should have gone to church!

Football and Oktoberfest!

I can not believe how crazy today was! I mean really crazy! First we drove to Westlake for our first away game for football! We got there on time and it wasn't too long before I realized that this was going to be a hard and crazy time! No coach for the cheerleaders and although I have offered to help ( no one took me up on it!) I did not know that it was going to just be mod and 2 other girls with no leader or a cheer list! So here are the girls looking at me and the other moms and I would like to fill this entire blog up with my frustrations but that will not make it better.

So here is the short story...I guess there is no leader for our team of four but only three showed up because on girl did not have a ride. We did a good job for the most part (I am trying to positive). The other moms did not get a message or phone call either and I am really sad and disappointed at how everything is ran! (every girl cried at least once and they thought the other cheerleaders where trying to make them feel bad!)Besides all of that they cheered wrong only two times and that is a great for a 6,8, and 10 year old!

After the game we rushed to moms and joined all the drunk people at Oktoberfest! It was nice to see some of my family that I haven't seen in years. It was nice that my mom had so much for the kids to do. All in all it was a great party! I think that my parents had a great time! I was fun to sit with the sober people and make fun of the drunk people. Everyone left except for family and Super Chefs friends (KH I do consider you a friend and I am honored that you read my blog, also it was so nice to see and hang out with you!)and that is when the crazy stupid came out! The man jumped in the pool and started a water fight and the super chef jumped in and that is when the pool party started. I quickly realized that mom was upset with the man and after helping clean and doing dishes we got out of there.

The entire way home I was totally pissed off and I will leave it at that! Like the man says it better to be pissed off then pissed on! We got home and got the kids to bed and after a long discussion we will not be going to church tomorrow we will be going to breakfast at moms and watching the Titans and Steelers game! So that is how my day went and hopefully I will no longer be mad in the morning but I doubt it!

AGGHHHH!

I do not feel like blogging and I need to figure this out soon! This is all I am going to blog for today! Busy Busy day tomorrow Football game and Oktoberfest!

"Tag in the butt?"

This is what mlmm says every morning when trying to get her dressed. She comes to me and holds her clothes which are always the craziest combination of clothes. ( I think that style is a good thing but some times I totally wonder what she is thinking and if she is totally blind. so she comes to me and then says this saying every morning and today it made me think first I love being a mom and second this is how my day has gone! I can not believe how funny mlmm is and I think that if I just sit back and watch it will be all great! So "Tag in the butt?" that is how she says it.

I could look at this saying in a couple of ways... the way she means it the tag goes in the back? which can some time describe my life. I know at least 5 times a week I have to say to mo "hey your shirt is on backwards!" but not always do i feel like i have to check how my clothes are on or even if the tag is in the back! Alot of the time I just do not care!

Then there is the Ha I tagged you in the butt and I think that this is how i feel most of the time like I am a kicking post for all to come by and take a kick. Like i have a big sign on my Butt that says Kick me! I know that this is not a way to feel my some times when you are down you are down and you know the saying kicking a down when they are down well I am down and ready for the kicking!

But I guess I could look at it like my wonderful husband does and laugh when ever she says this because he is a stupid man and is thinking like a man. Maybe that is my problem I need to start thinking or lack there of like a man I don't know you decide! So i hope you have a great day and put the tag in the butt!

A little note nothing great happened today which is a good thing!

"See God gave us what we need!" and..."Well if I'm touching it then no one else can!"

Today's posts has has several titles so here is the first One step forward and two steps back at this rate I will be back in hell before Christmas. This morning I woke up in the worst mood and man all the way to the doctors office even though mlh was laughing in the back seat and it usually makes me smile at his high pitched squeal this morning it made me crazy and I wanted to pull the car over to the side of the road and get out. I mean get out and leave them. But seeing how that would land me in jail I continued to the doctors office.

We got to the lab for mo and i to get lab work done and that is when I realized that I am totally crazy and I need a nap. Everything they were doing was making me want to scream. We got our blood drawn and then walked next door for mo to get a look at and then a TB test and I think that doctors should talk to parents in front of there hypochondriacs because the rest of the day he kept telling me that it was spreading and getting big! While in the doctors office I kept thinking I need coffee and a break. Got done with the doctors right before they stopped serving breakfast at Micky D's and they convinced me that we should stop just to make them shut up I caved in. Then we rushed to practice and got there 10 minutes early.

While the kids where in practice I got a notice form my facebook to my email and found out some sad news and made a phone call and seeing how my friend is doing okay all I can say is I am praying for her. While on the phone my little ones disappeared into the music teachers house to get into his candy stash. ( thankfully it is almost Halloween time so I can replace all the candy they ate!) I watched mod and then she had her daily melt down saying stuff like Why cant I be talented like mo and all he does is listen and he can play...I try and can't do it...it got me thinking that this is so true in life and she is totally right. Mo doesn't even want it and has this amazing musical gift. While mod wants it so bad and practices and practices and can't land a job! She started by telling me that this will only make her stronger and fight for what she wants and blah blah blah! that is what she said right in front of her teacher. Thankfully he is really good and defused her by saying you are right Mod but you have many talents that your brother doesn't have and you just need to practice and I bet you could be better than him. Seeing how she is so competitive I bet she will try harder.

We got back in the car and that is when I totally lost it and decided to try some reverse physiology and I think it worked. I turned off the music and yelled at them just like they have been yelling at me all day. I even did it in the same voice. Maammmm so and so this and so and so did this then I said did you like me yelling at you and the all sat in complete silence and shook their heads. It either worked or they all thought the same thing and I will hear about this when I get older. Remember the day that mom lost it in the car and yelled at us? She is a complete freak!

When we got home I told them to get everything out of my car because I was taking mod to her audition and then went into the house. Thankfully the man was home doing paper work because mo's school stuff came in and I totally forgot! So i walked in and told the man that I was in a mood and laid down on the couch and buried my head. Got up and got the kids on the computer and got all of today's stuff ready. Mod did what she could before we had to leave and I got mo all mapped out and then I got mod ready took the car seat out just in case and we left. Mod left something in the house and ran back in slipped on the wet floor and came back screaming and yelling that dad didn't care about her and I tried to comfort her by saying you have lines to memorize. So we went over lines and started on the way. We even got a scare because a cop came up on me and did the flash thing while i was in the carpool lane. Luckily it wasn't for me!

We got to her audition right on time and then did the wait thing. While we were waiting mod started sizing up her competition and said all sad I am way too tall for this part and they all look like they are 5. She was right! I think she is going to be tall! What can I say model! So they called her in and before she went in she prayed this sad prayer and then before I knew it we were on the way back to the car and on our way home. Before I got in the car the man called and said do you have mo's pads and helmet? Yes I do! So then he said are you in the car yet? No we are getting in right now. Then mod said lets pray so she prayed and then I did and we were on the road. The traffic was LA traffic and man oh man it was so amazing. I got a call and the man said do you think that you will be able to get there before 6 and I said it didn't look like it but that I would try. Well we got almost back home and mod said all so proud "see God gave us what we need!" Not what we wanted or needed or desired but what we need in current time! She is so right and it totally changed my day! totally! I guess I am not taking as many steps back as I thought.

While getting the kids bathed mlh said something so funny that I just have to share... He was doing the little boy thing and I said mlh do not do that in front of your sister. He then informed me that only he can touch it. This is what I have been saying since they were little. So then I said well you can do that in your room. "I can do it in my bed?" Sure I said then I said why in your bed? "Well if I'm touching it then no one else can!" the thoughts that little 4 year old think of cracks me up. When telling the man this story he informed me that mlh I guess thought that when he had his surgery that they cut it off! He even used the shwushhhh sound and used had movements. So the man had a discussion about parts tonight right before my conversation! I'm telling you BOYS!

Well I have great news!

Well I have great news! Mod only cried the last 20 minutes of school today and we even got done with all the subjects! Mo even got done and i feel like we are on the up! I think that is was a much needed break since I was up until 1:30 last night cleaning and getting ready for today and all that seemed to pay off. I am getting excited about the rest of the week. They also kept mod in both math classes so I guess she will be done with math in February. HA!

Today a funny thing happened and I think that it was so funny I have to tell you about it. Mo was going out the sliding glass door and mlh came behind him and pushed him out the screen. All I heard was a loud crash and then mo started crying and then mlh kept saying I'm sorry mo. I came to the rescue of the crying kid and the sight was so funny. He flew down both stairs and then on top of the mess that was outside and the screen was completely broken. Mo kept telling me that his foot was broken (its not) and I think that if I would have been smart I would have taken a picture.

So the man came home and man was he in a crappy mode. Then he saw the screen and I can not believe that he is so grumpy. He even told me that he was going to not take the kids to practice. Because I am not going to be threaten I went and got the kids already and before I knew it he was leaving without Mod. So here is mod running out the door and then out the gate screaming and crying and I started looking for my phone and then he came back down the road and then started in... So he dropped off the kids and came home and then left again to get them from practice and he never really got out of the funk he was in.

After getting all the kids already for bed and asleep the man informed me that he is no longer going to have his back hurt and he is sleeping in the office. My only response to this is I'm sorry our bed sucks! We can't even buy food this week and mo needs to get his blood work done tomorrow. Oh we also owe 5,000 dollars to medical that we do not have. Maybe in two years we will be able to afford a new bed. So I got the kids out of our room only for me to sleep alone! so that totally sucks!

So blood work, music lessons, mod has an audition and we still have to find room for school tomorrow! Did I mention that we live 30 minutes from any big town. So 30 minutes to blood 30 minutes back. 30 minutes in the opposite direction and the an hour and a half lesson and then 30 minutes back home just in time to get in the car and drive an hour plus depending on traffic to mod's audition. Crazy day tomorrow!

"You're driving me crazy!"

"You're driving me crazy!!" This is what mlmm said to me this morning in a very unpleasant way right after I told her that she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She shook her fists and gave me the evil eye and that is when I should have realized that today was going to be one of those days. (did I mention that she looked just like my mom when she said it! way too funny!)

I got up and got the kids up and mod started off great and then the melt down happened. Mo started late because he didn't have his classes up yet and then he had his first live lesson. So by the time his classes where up mod was already in her I cant do this mods and wanted to go back to bed! I finally got all of her supplies today and you should see all that awesome things we got today (mod wasn't impressed). I got to talk to mo's teacher and she is lovely and mo is going to be in 6th grade math which I think is awesome. I also found out that mod has been doing two times the work because of a computer glitch at her rate she was going to be done with school in February. They fixed it and I think that tomorrow will be better for her and for me.

I got done with school late today and made dinner for everyone and I have decided that I now have a full time job (homeschooling) and if you are related to me you can no longer come to my house. I totally gave up trying to clean up after the little ones and man I am not sure about the house. It looks like it did when we had only two kids and i worked 12 hours a day at the salon. I spent 2 hours tonight after everyone was asleep putting away things and cleaning. I just wish I could have done some laundry. But you can not dry clothes at night. The man came home tonight ate dinner and watched football. I do not think we said but a couple of words tonight. He also reamed me about not getting mo's blood work done. I just want to say well! and throw up my hands!

I did find something great about home schooling, are you ready for it? I do not have to spend hours and hours fighting with my kids about homework and questioning why the teacher taught my kids the old way to do things! Well off to bed finally!

30 days! What how can that be!

Well its officially football time in our house. On Sundays at our house is an adventure. The man allowed me to sleep in a little this morning (7:30) until mlmm started screaming while the man was outside looking to kill him a squrriel. So up I went and the man and I watched a movie this morning and then it was time! Time for me and the kids to run and hide. I think that he is so funny! He wants me to stay home with him but he is so emotional when the Steelers play that we can not sit in the same room with him. It totally stresses me out! He yells, screams, jumps up and down, then he gets really mad! I think he thinks they can hear him!

Luckily we won and he was in a great mood for the rest of the day. While the man was watching football mod and I sat in my room with the little ones coming in and out. We watched a couple of movies and it was really nice to just veg out with her. I really love the girl she is becoming. It was so funny every time the little ones left my room she would look at me and say that's a bad idea! We even ate lunch in there to keep every one out of his way. While all this was happening mo played his play station and encouraged the man to yell louder. They can keep that crap to them selves. I find it funny that he yells so much at a game and then gets mad when mo does the same thing by yelling at a video game! He says its different but I do not see any difference! I am glad that he no longer stresses my mom out! Last year it really made her crazy when football was on. Last year at least he had my uncle and dad to hang out with so mom and I could go out and now I am stuck here.

After the Steelers played he made us hamburgers for Linner and then he even bathed the little ones for me. It was a change of choirs. I tried to get everyone to bed early so we can start school tomorrow without any fighting but, that didn't happen like I wanted. While watching my TV show tonight mod came in crying that her stomach was hurting. so after spending an hour with her it is time for me to finally finish this blog and get to bed I have a really Big day tomorrow! We are getting mod's school supplies and hopefully mo will have his classes up on the web!

I am praying that she doesn't wake up puking in an hour and that we have a great day tomorrow! Thank you God for allowing my husband to not die today from all the yelling and stress from a football game!

All I can say is WOW! (we won without the mercy rule 6-0) thanks to mo's recovery!

Got up this morning and tried to get as much cleaning done as possible before it was time to leave out the door to go to football. We only got half of it done and I think it was becwause I decided to stop and make breakfast. Seeing how we were going to be in the stands from 11-3! I thought it would be a good thing to eat big before we went. So we got out the door on time and we even got our shirts. So shirts on and all. Mod ran over to the cheer team and we went and got the little ones some candy to keep them quiet. Next week I am bring some stuff with us to keep them enterained. When it was time for mo's game they needed some one to work the chain gang and I volunteered the man. We have to volunteer 2 times so we can get back our 50 dollars that they have. So off he went and man was that a joke! ( the little ones wanted to go)

The first half I got to see and then that was it the little ones didn't want to sit with me anymore. Mlmm kept taking off to the snack bar to get more candy and then it happened I missed the play that caused us to win. I guess there was a fumble and mo jumped on it for a recovery on the 1 yard line. So we scored and I can not believe that I missed it. I am totally bummed and I am going to have to spend more money to get the DVD! All I can say is WOW! (we won with out the mercy rule 6-0) It even put the man in a great mood. Seeing how he was on the chain and mo wasn't playing very well in the first and then he came back and we won! I am so glad!

The rest of the evening was great the man made pork chops and I made rice and corn and mlmm was so excited she loves rice. She sang the Happy Birthday song all day today. She sings the monkey version. I think it is so funny. Mom got her house all finished and we didn't get to go over there and see it. I think that that is how our weekends are going to be from now on. Football and resting. I mean it is a long day when the kids have home games because mod needs to be there 1 hour before and the 1 hour after. So we are talking 4 hours in the sun! Kept the man up late tonight watch a stupid movie and every time he wanted to go to bed he would start talking ( he thought I would say go to bed, I didn't) I just kept pushing pause and the stupid movie took 30 minutes longer. Next time I think he is going to be quiet! HA! Well a very awesome day! Mo did great and made his dad happy, now if the Steelers can win tomorrow we will be doing great!

"I wanna sleep in your own bed!"

Well its official... I can no longer use the its because I have had baby that is why I am still fat. Things are a changing in our family starting today! My baby is three and I am no longer going to be FAT!

This morning the man gave mlmm her birthday boots and we sang to her before he left and I think that having her little party last week worked out great for her seeing how she got to celebrate it like 3 times. I even let her eat junk all day long. This is her favorite thing in the whole world! Eating chips, soda, and ice cream! She Loved it and I am so glad!

Well I got mo all ready to go on Monday! I also got to talk to his counselor and all I can say is no way not my kid! I mean I knew that he was smart but are you kidding me. Mo got a 100% on the GATE math test! So he will be in GATE for math and science. I knew that he was smart because he tested really high on the STAR test but who gets a 100%! So I am really happy that I am home schooling seeing how they are going to let him go at his own pace. The only problem the man has has to do with high school sports and we will see the kid in only in 5th grade.

After school I thought today would be a great day to switch beds and try to get the man back into my bed! I am not sure if it is going to work but hey! So I took the bunk beds out of the boys room and took them apart and put them into the girls room and then put the bunks that do not come apart into the boys room. I also went through mlmm's clothes and we are going to start looking on craigslist for some winter clothes. I am still believing that it is going to be a cold one this year!

We got the beds all moved and I got the rooms all cleaned out and then it was time for bed and I have never laughed so hard and the man and mlmm. She kept saying over and over "I wanna sleep in your own bed!" and he would say you want to sleep in your bed! He even laid in her bed and she wasn't having it. So she would get mad and then say it again "I wanna sleep in your own bed!" this went on for like 10 minutes until I couldn't stand it and then I laid next to her and she feel asleep. I hope she stays in bed that is my prayer tonight. Oh I also hope the man gets to sleep! He hates our bed! Well football tomorrow!

It wasn't me!

Well its day three and it started out for the most part not too bad! Mod is starting to get caught up. We can do most of the work online but we do have a lot to do when she gets her books next week. I still do not have mo all figured out and he just drove me about nuts this morning. All I kept thinking was you are crazy. There is no way you are going to be able to do this.

I made the kids all go out side and run around the property today for some added PE time and I think it was good. It gave me a moment to breathe. The thing that I think will be hard for me is that I no longer have a day off. I never did before but I don't even have 30 minutes to take a shower or even just a long time in the restroom pretending to use it so I can pray. I feel like there is always someone around me saying mom, mom, no mom, I need you mom! I also have realized that having the kids home means a lot more cleaning and cleaning! It is never ending!

Well tonight the man was out looking for the shot of his life time (squirrels) when he decided to fart! Mlmm as loud as can be shouted "It wasn't me!" this has been the highlight of my day! I totally love that line (its from Rocketman). The man came in and I thought he was going to bust his gut. I think that the more she is around me she is starting to become me. I love it she even has my faces. Mod was raised by babysitters and it is so obvious! So the rest of the evening whenever she heard anything out came the great line "It wasn't me!" way to funny!

Day 2 and I think it is getting worse!... "You better go outside if you are going to die!"

I can not believe how much I feel like I am a failure. I am doubting myself so much and I even yelled at the kids which I am very sad about. As I sit in bed and reflect about my day all I can say is wow. I woke up this morning and got a great email from a past friend encouraging me and I even got a little excited. Then I continued getting the kids already this morning. Mod is completely registered and she started by watching and participating in an online orientation and she even started on her classes it was so very encouraging. Then mo started in and that is when it went all down hill.. Why does she get to do that... why am I not registered...What about me...It's all about me...then he decided to get all the other kids all wound up and that was when I totally lost it. I can not believe how quickly he can just tick me off. I just want to SCREAM! Its totally a sucky thing because today is not the day to do this seeing how we had music and then I had a doctors apt. I just feel like I am making a BIG mistake! ( I even was told again to quit!)

I got the kids to practice and while they where in practice mod's teacher called and I really got a good feeling from her. She understood where I stood and even talked to mod. I just hope that this is really what I am supposed to be doing. We got finished with practice and then we drove through the drive thru and that was the first time today that mo was nice and sweet. Took the kids to moms and she helped mod finish schooling while I went to the doctors. It was totally frustrating because I just kept watching the clock tick by because they were running so far behind. I even told them that I was going to have to leave if I didn't get in soon. I have good news I am fatter than what I thought and I am still no closer to knowing why I can not sleep.

Got back to moms and I then rushed home to get the kids to practice. I just hope that tomorrow gets better. I also am praying that they get mo's stuff all figured out so he can start the schooling that he needs to. I got a phone call from the nurse about mo today and they are allowing me to follow my gut and get his blood work done so I just have to wait for the order to come in. I even found out the class mod was going to have at her old school and although I should see this as a sign I just feel confused and worried! Please pray for me!

On a funny note tonight the man and mlh were talking about his back and how his back is hurting and then I guess he said something like "Oh mlh I'm getting old." Then they talked a little more about why his back hurt and that it was because he was getting old then the conversation changed to mlh saying that the man was going to die because he was old and mlh said no dad you cant die and the man said i will die some day that is part of life then mlh said well "You better go outside if you are going to die!" When asking mlh about this he said "yeah dad is going to go outside to die because his bones will start to stink!"

Well I better go outside because I feel like I am going to die today! Oh also can you believe this weather Hello summer where did you go! Winter you need to wait until I get wood cut! We are going to freeze if you come this soon! I guess the man is going to have to cut wood this weekend I think it will be weird to have a fire this week if it keeps getting colder. Our high today was 60 and man is my house cold! The Uggs are coming out!

What was I thinking!

What was I thinking! I am totally crazy thinking that I could do this home school thing! I am totally not cut out for this I am a mom of four! Four wild and crazy kids and I want them to sit at a table and learn! Ha I can not do this! I am totally crazy and I think I need a reality check! I feel like quitting and it is only the first day! Help! I think I am insane! I know that even my friends that are teachers say that the first week is total craziness but this is just stupid!

I woke up to mo so excited and I thought hey I can do this and then I logged on to the school website and they do not have them registered so then I thought okay maybe I can still do this I called and they messed up and I guess my fax didn't come in a clear and they needed it to be. Then I thought I still have to have them do something and that was my big mistake. It also sucks that I do not think I have the support I need. I love my Sil but she is making this very hard and she keeps saying to me that I need to take the kids to real school. I think that I need a support group. I am not sure if I can do this but I am going to do it for a year! I am also not sure what I am supposed to do with the little ones when the kids are in school. I want to scream! Please tell me that I am not crazy!

For the most part my day was filled with negativity mo crying and starting fights, mlmm and mlh coloring and fighting and mod crying and whining and crying! HELP!

What kind of crapy holiday is this all about!

We got up early this morning to go to moms house and help. She called last night and the man cant say no! So off to moms we went taking the trailer so we could load up all the extra dirt. She has so much that the trailer tires were on the rims and the man was worried that we were going to break the trailer. But, thankfully we got home alright. mind you we only drove 30 miles an hour and it took us 55 minutes to get home (SIL followed us home in her car with the older kids). Totally long drive. I can not believe how tired I am and my house is not cleaned yet again. The sucky part was we had to unload that trailer all by our selves. Since my shoulder is still out I mostly watched today. But I did help when I was at moms and man I wanted a nap today and didn't get one!

I am not sure what kind of mean holiday this is calling it labor day! All it makes me think about is Labor and that is exactly what we did we worked our buts off. I mean really I think that my but is totally smaller. I think that this holiday is supposed to be for you not to Labor but that is not what happened today and I can not imagine how tired my mom must be (but hey her yard looks great!).

When we got home we called our neighbor and asked him if he wanted to come over ( his sister passed away and I thought this is the least I could do...feed him) So his son and him came over and we ate and watched Night at the Museum. I love that movie. They left and we got the kids to bed and after sitting up with Sil and wishing my shoulder would stop hurting I have decided to go to bed early I have school tomorrow. I just hope it goes okay. I am worried that I am in way over my head. I just hope I get a lot of sleep so I am not grouchy! Please pray for me!

We dared each other to put the bar of soap in our mouths.

We got to moms this morning and mom is completely fixing up her entire back yard again. She is getting ready for this big party she is having in two weeks! She is even getting new flooring and paint! So she is building a wall in her back yard and we will get to get some free dirt Yeah! My mom's hands look so bad blood and all! She made breakfast and it was so yummy! I think that mlmm is going to have the a couple of cakes! Mom is watching the kids for me on Wednesday so I can go to the doctors and she is getting her an ice cream cake! She is so excited!

Mom and mlmm where talking and she told her that she couldn't go swimming because the pool was stolen! It was so funny mlmm totally believed it and walked around looking for it then she went outside and came back in all excited and said "No! Its back" then mom told her that they must have returned it. So the kids went swimming and the man went to work getting the rest of his work done in the attic. He even cut open his head! While the man worked papa put on a movie for the kids and it is one of my favorite movies Rocketman! Its too funny to hear my little ones saying it wasn't me over and over! mom and I ran to Lowes while the man watched the kids and then we moved some furniture for moms carpet and flooring this week.

After we got done off we went again back home and I can not wait to have a nice and relaxing day tomorrow! Got home in time for the man to watch some football and for us to decided what to do with the last day so summer. I can not believe it is already here. Last day of summer.

While the kids were in the shower this evening I was in the bathroom and the boys got really quiet I mean even though I was in the room with them I could not hear them then I herd mod gagging and mo saying don't you puke! don't you puke! I dared you and you better not get me in trouble. So I heard mo laughing and then mod gagging and then crying and I opened the door to see mlh with a bar of soap and then mo said We dared each other to put the bar of soap in our mouths. This got me thinking about all the stupid things we do to our siblings. When I was younger my sister put soap in my eyes and I think I dared my brother to do some pretty stupid things a time or two. I just find it funny that they dared soap! Yuck!


So to my sister that put soap in my eyes thanks for the laugh tonight. It brought so much memories of our summers.

Here we go COLTS! Here we go!

Its football time I can feel it in the air! I can not believe that the kids were all ready to go and that we did all that we did this morning and got to the game on time! so, We got up this morning and I convince the kids and the man to get the house ready for the grandparents to come today! We have had such a busy day. Only the in-laws will be coming today but that is okay and I don't think mlmm really cares that much. So, we got the house cleaned and got to the game and I can not believe how hot it is today what the heck!

I am so glad that I sprayed the kids with sun screen and I am glad that I did. So while warming up we lost one of the kids to heat stroke before the game even started (we found out later that it was because of the antibiotics that he was on, Thankfully I didn't start mo on them last night). So there was only 11 kids today! Going both ways and not being able to rest really took its tole on mo. He didn't perform that well in the first half but then he showed up for the second. Too bad we lost...the other team had like 20+ kids which really helped them out they even had to do the mercy rule! Bad for them good for us. This team even had a second string! Way too crazy!

After the butt kicking we all went home and the man made hamburgers and then we sang mlmm's favorite song Happy Birthday! I think she was in heaven. My mother in law bought her the best present and they played and played. the in-laws left and we had a very quiet rest of the even. I can not believe how fast today went... I sprayed the kids and myself and I forgot my knees and man was that a big mistake they are so sunburned. I think that next Friday I will be sad since it is her real birthday! My baby is going to be 3! Tomorrow we are going to moms and then more football!

Yes I definitely think football is in the air!

Doctors apt for mo and praying for direction!

Today has been one of those days where I just feel like i am totally doing everything wrong. Woke up late and rushed mo to his appointment. He has had these swollen glands under his neck and when we went and got his physical the doctors insisted that we went to see the ENT that took out his tonsils in January. So here we are sitting in the office where I am forced to pay more money even though we have made our deductible this year and I feel like this has been the year of medical. I mean I am not sure how we are going to ever pay off all this money and we are already behind this month and I am not sure what we are going to do.

So we get into the doctors and he acts like I am a crazy mom. He gives mo some different antibiotics ( he took 2 weeks of antibiotics about a month ago and nothing happened) and sends us out the door and for us to come back in two weeks. I asked him what another round of antibiotics is going to do and I guess I wasn't thinking because I left out the door with out asking the important questions (it couldn't be because I had all four of them and they were all acting up). He said that if the antibiotics do not work then we would do blood work and go from there.

Then I went to moms and had to fax more papers in for mod and mo and then after talking to mom I think I really failed today as a mom. Then I got a phone call from the man and he continued to question my motherhood and how I forgot to ask questions like Why can't we do the blood work today and why take antibiotics if his blood work doesn't show an infection. Then the man asked me to call the doctors office and ask these questions and even though I got the antibiotics he didn't want me to give them to him until I asked some more questions. So I called and got nowhere. I also couldn't pick up the prescription because he forgot to call it in. So I left moms and went back to Walgreen's and then asked the pharmacists some questions and I guess I will just wait until the game is over tomorrow before I even decide what to do about the medicine.

Got home and since I still am feeling like a complete failure as a mom and now I am worried because everyone is telling me that his glans being so swollen could be something bad. I am just sad and wishing I could have handled today better. The big game is tomorrow and then we are having cake for mlmm. I do not think anyone is coming to the game or little party but, I am not so worried seeing how she is only three and the kids will have 7 more games after tomorrow. Well I am going to really have to pray for direction tonight.

Psalms 116:6 The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

Today is Thursday and I typed my entire blog into word and then my computer crashed and it is gone. So I can not copy and paste like I do. So for today all I can say is I hate computers and I wish there was an easier way to fix this.

The kids went to practice tonight and we will not have uniforms for the cheerleaders in time for the game this week, Mod is totally bummed out. I also have to get up really early tomorrow and I am wishing that I could get to sleep. I am not going to retype my blog tonight because nothing that great happened today. Also I will give me room for this:


Psalm 116 (New International Version)

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD :
"O LORD, save me!"

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

11 And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

Practice Practice Practice

Woke up this morning and wanted to put a bag over my head! I really need sleep and today is one of those days that just didn't go all that well. I feel like Wednesdays are no longer fun. I mean after yelling at the kids to get up and get ready so we can get out the door so we can get to practice is just not that fun! I even wanted the house picked up first which was just a bunch of yelling. Hopefully next week will be better. I also hate that the kids are so talented and yet they will not practice!

After going to practice and then fighting all the way home I just want today to be over. The only thing that was good today was the time I spent with mod and her indecisiveness about school. I really think that she would be great at it and I think it would really help her self esteem. I really want this decision to be up to the kids and I am not sure if that is what I should be doing. I just feel lost today!

It seemed like only a few minutes and then the kids where off again to practice. I can not wait until this weekend it is going to be the kids first game and I think that mo is going to do good. I also can not wait to see mod in her cheer uniform if they come in that is. Well as you can tell I am in a funk and today really shows. Maybe i will get some sleep tonight.