Today has been so crazy. Got up this morning and got out the door drove mod to school and then started our way to Burbank to drop mo off at the airport. Got all the way to the 5 and decided to stop and get coffee when I luckily found no money and no wallet. So turned the car around and drove back to the house. Found my wallet thank you God! Then back in the car. I guess it was the way it was supposed to be since we missed the traffic and got there in time to still have a quick breakfast. While at breakfast mo started in with his attitude problem and made mlh cry. So here I am sitting in Denny's with a crying 4 year old and mo ripping the kids menu. I love it when people stare at you in that judging way. I just love it! So after eating really quick we rushed over to the airport to find out that the flight is going to be delayed 30 minutes. Yeah!
So now here we are mo,mlmm,mlh and myself sitting and waiting for the plane that is 30 minutes late. Mlmm is acting like a tiger which mlh calls tigie. Mlh is throwing my keys inthe air and mlmm is crawling and grrrring on the floor fetching the keys. Then again mlh throws the keys and mlmm fetches them. I didn't even care at this point because I was once told by a smart woman you need to pick your battles. So let all those airplane people stare and snicker. They plane finally arrived and off mo went and although I should be happy to not have him home or happy for the experience I am sad that this is how our relationship is. I think he has so much anger towards me.
So I took mod to guitar practice and left the man with the little ones. After only being there 5 minutes I feel asleep and slept the whole hour. I guess I am totally sleep deprived. Driving home from practice I tried to have a conversation with mod but her emotional state just wont let her talk with out crying. So she warned TV and I drove home listing to nemo. So tired I barely got home made fried egg sandwitches and got the kids ready for bed.
Watched crabs with the man and then tried to watch more TV but the little ones I guess also piss him off. He went to bed after telling me that the little ones run this house and he wanted no part of it. Also told me that he was done. I tried to get the kids in bed so he would be Happy but the sleeping in the car I think made it impossible for them to sleep at 7:30. Finally got them to sleep around 9 and put them in bed just for mlmm to come crying out followed by mlh holding his head and crying. Not sure what happened but I pretty sure it had to do wih mlmm. So now it is almost midnight and I am tired and mad.
I have decided that I am no longer gonna be your emotional babysitter. I am barely keeping my own head above water let alone my four kids and now the mans. Please!
Here is how my prayer went a minute ago:
Okay God here I am I know I'm not kneeling but if I get out of bed I'm gonna wake up the man and he is already mad. So where are you... I need you...I need direction...I don't know what I'm doing but I know its all wrong. Since my family isn't changing... then change me... Amen
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