You made your bed now you have to lie in it?

You made your bed and now you have your have to lie in it. That is what we are told as kids and now that I am getting older I want to know WHY? Why do we have it lie in it? Can't we just get up and remake it? I know that sometimes that is harder said than done but are you supposed to just lie there and wish you were dead or wait for your death. What about forgiveness? What about having a redo? Why is the only answer to lie in it? I'm not talking about doing bad things...I talking about waking up and looking around yourself and saying what in the H*** am I doing here. I mean I thought that my life was going to be different and now look at it. I look at my life and I see nothing but mess like scramble eggs. I have 4 kids that I know are gifts from God am I am supposed to raise them up but I feel like a complete failure. I say the same hurtful things my parents said and I do the same hurtful things they did and all I see is trouble ahead if I do not remake this bed! But how? I know in my heart that things can change but I also know that you can not change people. The man is miserable and hates the gifts around him. I am trying to see the positive but when all is hear is negative I just want to scream!!!!! SHUT UP and surrender to GOD! But, because I am not walking the walk I will just stay silent. I also know that the man is to be the held of house hold and lift up his family. But, what do you do when you are the only one. Sitting in silent has pulled me down this path and I wish to no longer follow. I feel like this is the path to my death. Today this journey a very heartbreaking.

On a good note the oldest decided to help clean up so he could get a new towel. I also decided that I do not like Singapore Mai fun. The man, the oldest and mess maker loved it. The rest of us loved the salad I made!!! Laundry did not get done and shopping was great... I love seeing the mans hard earned money fly out the window...NOT!... 6 gallons of milk a week!