"They are wrong to doubt you, it doesn't mean they wont... "

Today was peaceful during the morning. Stayed inside due to my sun poisoning on my arms. See this white girl and the sun do not get alowng. I do love the California weather but only spring,fall and winter.

When he older kids got home the so did he fighting, yelling, and lack of self control from the oldest. So both kids have reports due and they both waited until today to let me know oh did I mention mod is due tomorrow and she forgot her book and mo is due on Wednesday. I loved school so much when I was younger I thought yes this is what I want to do in my thirties go back to school. Is this some kind of cosmic joke? I just want to know why?...when there is only 2 weeks left makes teachers think hey lets make reports due. Like my kids want to do school work when it is hot outside. Not! they want to go out and play. Come on teachers did you see the weather. I couldn't get the kids to go outside a couple of months ago, no reports due then!

Made dinner with mod and it was so wonderful! We made lazy lasagna, with cheesy crescent rolls and salad. Im thankful my kids like salads. Even though we haven't had the same thing this was a keeper! So left overs for tomorrow yeah no cooking.

"They are wrong to doubt you, it doesn't mean they wont. The same people who misunderstand you, will walk through fire for you tomorrow...you can handle this." This was on my TV show last night and I felt like it was a message just for me. I wish I had heard this a couple of years ago. This is how I have felt my entire life. I wish I was strong enough to take the criticism from my family and friends. Now that all the people I prayed for years ago to find peace with God are serving I feel like I am an outsider again. How is this possible. While watching my show there was a part where she was in her closet yelling at God and I realized that I am not the only one who has more questions than answers. I also have decided that I want it now and I want results now. It did not happen that way. I was misunderstood in high school for looking for God instead of partying or continuing on a path of sure destruction. I was misunderstood in college and was not strong enough to just hang on. Now in my thirties I know my calling in life is the same as it has always been and I am trying to hang on. Hopefully pushing boundaries along the way, since I do not live in a box. Its more like a rectangle with a box on the side.