With all my searching I still can not find the peace I am longing for

TWell its Monday! What can I say about Monday. I slept so good last night this morning I jumped out of bed which was awesome. Didn't even need coffee. I did dishes, laundry, and even cleaned up around the house. All before 10:00 can you believe it. I helped mo get his computer game working and besides the little back talking and his stupid jokes all and all a good day with him. I wish I could understand his humour. Maybe someday.

Hung around the house today and the man came home at eleven and was done for the day... or so he thought. He decided he was going to drag the property and this made mlmm happy she loves hanging out with her daddy. So she ran and got her shoes one only for the man to come back in the house and say never mind I have to go back to work. With tears rushing down her face he said okay will to around a couple of times. I am not sure why she love it because since he didn't get to do it guess who did. Here I am with mo making sure we don't loose the cement block, he's riding in the back and mlmm riding in her saying " turn up the music mom" and mo saying "go faster". It wasn't as boring as last time. I did some donuts in the front yard and decided that I am totally a hick I mean who does donuts in there front yard? Oh yeah...I do. So I got done with that just in time for the man to come home and decide that he should continue the job. Did I tell you that his tying of he rope sucked and every couple of turns I had to jump out and put that cement chunck back into the tire. So he came home and decided to use chain. Why didn't he use chain for me?

So here I am outside in the heat with a shovel cutting down all the wild mustard so the man can drag them. After about the second one I decided I got ripped. He is in the air conditioned car and I am in the hot hot sun working up a sweat. What kind of crap is this. Well I was pulling weeds when I brushed up against this weird plant that had hairs on it like a cactus. So I decided that I was done with the working and took mlmm inside and rushed into the shower. After a long shower and scrubbing scrubbing scrubbing. I think I got all the hairs off.

The man and mo came inside and we ate dinner...fined for yourself night. Mlmm and I had noodles, the man had left overs and mo had both. The man and kids watched some discovery channel show and it gave me time to play on the computer which was taken by my 10 year old. Played some Facebook games and talked to h for a little. So excited they are coming this weekend. The man said good I'm glad your happiness will be returning. Ha

Decided to go to bed early and get another awesome night, but the kids had other plans. I got mlmm to sleep and after about the tenth time of saying go to your room I believe he is done trying to push my buttons. Well on TV was that show intervention and I never watch it but today's show has me really involved. It made me cry and now I am left with a sadness and a whole in my heart. The Guy who was performing the intervention said something to the mother that made me think. Wow a counselor who gets it. Unfortunately the daughter did not stay sober. With all that said I must think that this could have been me... I could have been lead down the wrong path and for some reason I started searching for God. I can not tell you how many religions I have been to. Not just churches. With all my searching I still can not find the peace I am longing for. Is this because of my childhood? Is it because I didn't have someone who got me and stick up for me? What ever the case this show has me longing for parents.