Today has been a day full of raw emotion the kind that makes your stomach sick! The kind that makes that knife feeling. You know that gut wrenching feeling. Well with all this emotion. I decided to look back at the past 11 years of my life and it makes me wonder. Why is it that so many people in our lives leave or run away or are taken away. I wonder when I stand before God will he say "Well done" or will I see misguided friendships and heartache so unbelievable that the knife kills me? I know that everyone in life has heartache but how much is too much? My life is full of awful things and abandonment. It is also full of wonderful memories that make me ask why? Why? Why? I guess you can say that this week has been a little rough for me and it is only the beginning of the week. I am not gonna kid myself I knew that the journey that I am taking is going to be a long and hard look at myself. I think that I am at the point on this ride where I am contemplating putting my hand over my mouth and one hand up in the air to let the scary carny know that I am ready to get off. I know that sometimes the scariest rides you know the ones that make you either almost puke or pee your pants they end up being the best. So I guess I am gonna stick this one out and see just how much fun this ride is gonna get... but it better get fun quick our I am gonna jump off!
We are having a yard sale this weekend and since we still have not finished moving in and unpacking all those dreaded boxes (you know the ones you say I'll go through them later and push them to the side) I thought I would spend sometime seeing just what is in all this crap we have and see if I can sell any of it. So here I am looking though box, after box, after box when my almost 10 year old (Yes that is right I almost have a ten year old)came in and said " man mom you have a lot of stuff what are you some kind of pack rat!" I must admit that seeing me on the floor looking at paper after paper and me making piles and piles. Shred, keep, what am I keeping this for etc. I guess I look like a pack rat but I am not!! At least I will keep telling myself that. Looking though all this stuff made me sad. Sad to find a box full of cards...cards that I collected, bought for someone or for something and I never sent them out. I used to be a great friend and send cards for all types of events and for some weird reason I stopped. I am not sure if it is because I got lazy or if it's because of life and my 4 kids. But, what ever the reason I have decided to send out all these cards! So...if you want or need a card... send me your address... Seriously I do not have a lot of the addresses I used to have and I would love to brighten up someones day, and I know that nothing makes people more happy than mail... real mail not emails but real mail...So send your address...Please! Don't worry I could careless where your live and I am not gonna sell your info!
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