Okay God I am here!

I am laying in bed and today has been one of those days where I just want to cry. But I keep hearing those mom words in the back of my mind. Crying. What good is crying? Is it going to make you better or stronger? No! Then man up. Well maybe it will make me feel better... sometimes it does.

Cleaned house this morning so I could have a clean house for the man To come home to. Then loaded the kids in the car and away to nanas house we went. Days like today I really miss my pool. I miss hanging out with the kids swimming and just lounging. So we got to the house and I have never seen kids jump so fast into the pool like I did today. Nana made the kids lunch and then back into the pool they went. The man showed up and that was the cue to get out. He came over so I could take mlmm to the doctors and go shopping for this weekend. ( I also think he's still not feeling good)

Got dressed and sil and I drove mlmm to the doctors. She fell acouple of weeks ago and skinned her elbow. I cleaned it up and didn't think to much about it. After it healed there was a bump and I asked everyone what they thought it was and we were in agreement that all though it was weird it probably was healing wrong. A couple of days ago she fell again and now that bump is loose and looks like a stick or a twig is in her arm it looks like a toothpick cut in half. You can move it. Yuck! Well it now hurts her only once in a while so I thought better have this looked at I didn't want it to be a sowing needle or something like that. Well xrays and an office visit later only to be told that it has moved. They don't know what it is ( but is not medal) and because it is so close to the funny bone nerve she will have to see a general surgeon next Wednesday. Oh and to give her advil if it hurts, to tell her to not to play with it, or touch it . Yeah ill get right on that. She doesn't turn three until September. She picks her scabs, eats bugs, and drinks out of the dog water bowl. What a joke. Where are the good doctors at? the old school I can fix it Dr house doctors. ( Dr. D we totally miss you)! I mean I bet she would have fixed her elbow and found out what's wrong with the man. While telling me don't worry I'm taking good care of your family. Unlike all the doctors up here they just give you a number. All we are to them is a paycheck. I need a new doctor.

Went shopping and I don't know when the last time I went shopping with only one kid was but it was Awesome! I even shopped fast with the help of sil even with her gimp foot. I bought food for Sunday and all of next week. It was so nice to not here I want that...don't push me... maaaoom he/she hit me, pushed me etc etc. So peaceful and I think I even bought under what I usually do. I must do that again.

Got the kids from nanas and drove home. Sil drove home also so sad wont see her until next week. Had leftovers and watched some TV. The mans blood work came back okay so now we wait to see if the medicine starts to work. No phone calls about the auditions from yesterday. I am still hopeful. I think that from all the worry I didn't hardly eat today and now I'm just sad. Not sure why. All I can say is okay God I'm here!